I’ve been told often that I have a knack for giving thoughtful gifts. I appreciate the compliment because I put a lot of effort into the gifts I give, trying to find something the recipient hasn’t specifically asked for, but I think they’d like based on what I know about them. Sometimes I guess wrong, but hey, it’s the thought that counts!
When I take my kids to the store to buy gifts for a friend’s birthday, they often times need to be reminded that we are buying gifts for their friend…not for them. I’ll ask them questions such as:
- What do you and your friend like to do when you’re together?
- Does your friend have any hobbies? Play sports? Travel often?
- What does their room look like?
- How do they like to dress?
- What makes them happy?
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.”
– Mother Teresa
During the holidays, I tend to feel a bit “grinchy” when shopping season rolls around. The pressure to select the right gift for each person on my list feels overwhelming. My kids just get excited about all the gifts they are going to receive! I try to counterbalance this by having them prepare their own gifts to give. My younger kids make something special for everyone they think will give them a gift, plus anyone else they want on their list. My teenager is “above” all this, so I try to have him set up a budget for what he wants to buy for specific people; for everyone else he writes a simple, but thoughtful statement inside greeting cards.
My husband’s side of the family has a different, more practical take on gift giving. For birthdays and holidays, they simply ask each other what they want. This strategy definitely has its benefits, but also some disadvantages. From a contributor on Medium.com:
According to Consumer Reports, almost 30% of Americans stress about Christmas gift-shopping and 20% stress about giving disappointing gifts. Of course, one way to deal with this stress is by simply asking people what they want.
In fact, previous research has shown that getting people what they request is generally a good strategy. If your spouse asks for a blender, chances are he or she would be happy to receive it as a gift from you. The problem is that while people might be happy to receive something they wanted, the gift will likely not serve to strengthen your relationship with them.
A gift can be given at any time, not just during special occasions. I think a gift should symbolize the care and appreciation you feel for the recipient. When viewed this way, its value is not monetary, but an experience for both the giver and receiver with the power to strengthen their relationship. From AnatomyofLove.com:
In today’s modern society, where much focus is on social media likes and people glued to their phones, the gift of being noticed and understood has become a real commodity….Use your next gift to show you’ve been paying attention.
A few ideas for meaningful gifts:
The Gift of Experience
Memories are created by doing, seeing, or experiencing. They can provide a much-needed chance to relax, learn a new skill, or feel inspired. The joy of material gifts can fade quickly and research shows we generally have too much stuff anyway. Experiences, on the other hand, are proven to be much more intrinsically fulfilling. The best part: these gifts can often be purchased online (and even from discount sites!) so if you need a last-minute gift that still says “I get you”, you’re only a click away!
One-up Their Routine
Know of a store they always shop at? Or their default restaurant for eating out? Find somewhere similar that they haven’t tried before and get them a gift card. There’s a chance it may just become their new favorite place and they’ll have you to thank!
I Thought of You When I Saw This
Ever been somewhere and you see something that brings a specific person to mind? This typically doesn’t happen when you were out searching for a gift for them, but it has their name written all over it (maybe literally). Buy it! Give it to them immediately to let them know you were thinking of them when they weren’t around or save it for the next special occasion when a “from the heart” gift may not be as readily found.
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
I’m a fan of subscription boxes: you get one every month (or so) and you never know exactly what will be inside. It’s always a surprise, but one that you anticipate receiving. They come in every category (from outfits to books to crafts to makeup), price range, and for every age group. Just pick one you think the recipient would like and they’ll have a gift to look forward to from you even after the occasion is over.
This video, produced by UPtv.com, chokes me up every time I watch it! What incredible value these kids place on their relationship with their parent!
Now it’s your turn!
Certificate: Activity
STUDENT
Write a list of some facts about a friend and then a list of gifts they may like to receive.
GUIDE (ADULT)
Help the Student write out their list by asking them questions. Explain the process and results
Future Leaders 